I enjoyed creating this one with my sister Stephani. She's a really cool artist, and person I'm really hoping to continue to build with more and more as time goes on. I produced and mixed the music down, along with some added vocals from my sister Zsanelle on the hook.
Its a really chilled out and self-reflective song of a personal conversation with God, letting go of all of the things that are stressing you out, and/or disturbing your peace in any way.
These blogs of mine are like public diary entries... They represent where I am and what I am experiencing and learning. I don't plan to speak at you, but instead be with you as I continue to grow.
I have to be honest with you guys; I've been stressed - and in many ways very discontent with my current living situation...
You know I love what I do, from being with the kids, to speaking, teaching and performing, etc.... But I'm broke!
I get paid close to nothing in this school, handling all of the remedial tasks of this building, and the majority of the shows I do... I do them for free. I catch heat from my girlfriend as we try to prepare and move toward marriage - and not to mention my mom who thinks I should focus more of my energy to go and get another job... I mean real talk as I write this now, I have maybe $1 in my checking account. You guys see me dressed well and styling in pictures, but about 80% of my clothes are hand-me downs, and maybe another 10-15% of my closet are gifts from people.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining as much as I am letting you know my living situation.... I know I'm blessed. I eat well, and have a roof over my head, plus I have a beautiful community around me who loves me. I also know God has forgiven my past, and continues to forgive me for my faults day in and out. I speak and radiate joy to others, but for some reason inside have been feeling incomplete. I walk away from retreats that I have spoken at and performed at, knowing I'm just scratching the surface of the real issues... There is so much more to be done. I get texts and calls from so many who need me and I feel overwhelmed and exhausted.
Yet I know this is my cross.
I remember reading the life of St. Padre Pio in a book called "Man of Hope" and how inspired I was by his prayer to the Father to ask for more suffering. I remember reading that and praying for it myself.
And I also remember a good Friday reflection about 2 years ago from my pastor Father Martin when he said "The Saint looks at Jesus on the Cross and tells his brother 'I don't want you to suffer alone'". Again I prayed that prayer so many times.
I have been contemplating a lot about the friends I grew up with, as well as family members I have never really interacted with, and how I watch seeing how far away they are from the church, God, and just live caught up in the world un-peaceful.
Father continue to teach me to enjoy the process. Teach me to appreciate where I am more and more. Teach me to see the other person always as a gift, no matter how much opposition or difficulties they give me. Teach me to love the cross you have given me - to embrace it/hold it and love the pains you have given me. Allow me to dream not of where I could be, but of where others could be with my offering.... May we all enjoy the process. Thank you Father... In Christ's name, through the Holy Spirit. Amen.
- The Symbol
- All is Love
A lot has been going on, and to be honest it is really hard not to get consumed into everything but thanks be to God, I have amazing people in my circle to keep me grounded... From my Idente Missionary family, to people in my parish, as well as some amazing youth ministers throughout the New York Diocese, and just family and friends I have enough people to keep me busy at work, but also console me and inspire me when I'm feeling down... Not to mention CORRECT me when I'm a little off!
I write this post to give a little update. I have been working on soooo many projects! After the release of the Golden EP, I asked "Ok God so what's next?" and it took me a long time to figure it out. All I got in the beginning was "Put your time and efforts into other people" and that I have been doing.
Without saying too much I can say this... I have been working on a TOP SECRET project with my brother Alex Gotay down in Texas which I think will be revolutionary for the culture, as well as a Theater piece with musician Stephen Jacobs(Also founder of Kids Creative, and Come Join The BAND!) which is a universally beautiful story about heart break, and re-discovery starting from a place of darkness and coming later towards the light.
To read the lyrics, click HERE
- The Symbol
- All is Love
These are my thoughts . . . My Beliefs . . . My Actions . . . Everything I do. This is the documentation of my quest towards creating more unity in the community by authentic #LOVE.
This blog was started at:
and continued at:
But now, as I have matured in my understanding as "The Symbol" and no longer Brandon Feel-X Morel you can continue my journey with me here.
(click above images to get download link)